Mother, Mother, Child

Effects of German Family Law on Queer Parents

Abstract

According to German family law, up to two people can become legal parents of a child. The person giving birth is always one of them. The second legal parent at the time of birth can only be a man. In queer families with two mothers, only the one giving birth is legally recognized as a parent at the time of birth. This leads to a weaker legal safety net of the family as a whole as well as the child. Yet, little is known about the effects of the legal framework on queer families and their everyday life. Drawing on qualitative interviews, this thesis uses grounded theory methodology to analyse the effects of German family law on queer parents. It turns out mothers try to secure the position of the unacknowledged mother as a parent and within the family structure. The female couples aim to get as close as possible to the situation of a family with a mother and a father: the dual legal parenthood starting at the moment of birth. To reach this goal, the women choose different strategies, some with legally binding consequences, some with consequences on a social level. The desire for safety determines which strategies are chosen by the women. The strategy with the most extensive consequences is the stepchild adoption. It leads to legal parenthood for the mother who did not give birth. Socially, a family with two mothers and a child is outside the social norm, which the mothers experience in everyday life. To cope with this social othering, they strive to legitimize their claim to be a family and especially the claim to parenthood of the mother not giving birth.