"To Persons Defiled and Faithless": The Dichotomy of Pleasure and Shame in Paul Mendez’s Rainbow Milk

Abstract

This article explores the complex interplay of pleasure and shame in Paul Mendez’s novel Rainbow Milk (2020), focusing on the protagonist Jesse McCarthy’s journey of self-discovery as a gay Black man navigating the intersections of race, sexuality, and religion. Jesse’s experiences of sexual pleasure are constantly juxtaposed with feelings of shame, rooted in religious indoctrination and racial ideologies. Through an intersectional lens, the article examines how Jesse’s marginalisation as a gay man is intertwined with his experiences of racism. Mendez intricately weaves the narrative around descriptions of cleanliness and dirtiness, exposing the impact of dysfunctional dynamics within Jesse’s family and religious teachings on his self-perception.

The article employs Sally R. Munt’s concept of shame as a mechanism for understanding how shame as an affect impacts the formation of identity and relationships. It explores how shame is regulated, shaping individuals’ self-worth and social belonging. An insight into postcolonial scholarship informs the analysis of racialised shame, highlighting the destructive impact of internalised racism. It delves into the interplay of race, sexuality, and religion, illustrating how shame operates as a tool of control and oppression. Through an analysis of Mendez’s novel, the article illuminates the nuanced politics of shame and its impact on marginalised identities.